Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
