Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize