these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
