Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you never un-have a 4some
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