I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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