so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
