Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
