Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
