Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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