I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I AM VODKA MAN
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
