before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
