I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
