im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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