I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
