If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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