Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
