I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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