I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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