Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
