I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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