Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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