That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
