I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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