I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
