Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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