Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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