i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
third nipple confirmed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
