Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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