You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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