Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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