make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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