david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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