it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
