did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize