Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
