Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"

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(404): View more from Georgia

I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.

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(850): View more from Florida

The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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(239): View more from Florida

I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..

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(514): View more from Quebec

It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Another day, another engagement, another cat

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.

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