So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i want to swaddle you in tequila
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Randomize
