Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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