If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
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You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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