Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
