every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
