How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
