I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
