Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
