If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
