i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
