Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
