I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
