what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
