Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
