Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
