Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
