Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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