He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
