I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
