You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who did Billy Mays play for?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
