Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
