So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
