My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Randomize
