batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
