it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just had sex bonerless
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
