Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You're a waste of cheezeits
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
