My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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